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SAHM of 3 wonderful kids, one brilliant one Asperger Syndrome. This is not a living shrine to his disorder, but rather a place to share & discuss the different challenges that came with it and other things about parenting & life in general.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

If I only knew...

This is W at 100 days old. In Korea, babies celebrate 100 days after birth and 1st birthdays. Along with the celebration, we have their picture taken.

I was a young mom at 21, clueless and immature. Motherhood was new, and I treated him like a very cute personal doll. I was happy to have my happy, cute baby.

Never did I imagine the challenges that were to come.

I used to think it was my fault that he had Aspergers. I know that the cause is still being studied. But there was always that guilt in my heart, that I somehow contributed to it.

I used to see him only as a happy baby. My perception changed as we were confronted with challenges of his, then undiagnosed, disorder. I asked myself if there were anything I could have done differently that would have lessened his difficulties. But I decided to forgive myself. I decided to remember him as the happy baby he was and be thankful that he is a happy person now.

"Life is an adventure in forgiveness. - Norman Cousins"

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