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SAHM of 3 wonderful kids, one brilliant one Asperger Syndrome. This is not a living shrine to his disorder, but rather a place to share & discuss the different challenges that came with it and other things about parenting & life in general.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

My aspie's rude awakening

W has had an uneventful life. Our family was revolved around him since he was the first born. Grandparents gave him allowance every week, I would give him money when he went out with his friends, and his aunt would pay him for some of the chores. 

As brilliant as he is when it comes to academics, but he has no ideas about how to handle money. He read about it, but never really learned about money. 

I found he had no qualms about buying things that weren't necessary and paying for his friends when they went out to Waikiki. 

So we decided to cut out all the free money we've been giving him. He applied to 15 positions from cashier, note taker for the disabled students, stocking person, and even greeter at Walmart. 

He couldn't understand why he hasn't received a call yet
. And after calculating his earnings, he said, "I need to work an hour to buy lunch!" 

I said, "Welcome to the real world!"

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Me, the problem?

There have been many changes this year, the good, the bad, and the really ugly. I won't bore you with details, but I am waiting for this year to be over. 

One of the change came as Will began his senior year and his younger brother A started kindergarten. 
You shouldn't compare children, but I couldn't help myself. I found his little brother to be more responsible and able to follow through than the 17  year old. 

Will stopped being a non-verbal child in speech therapy a long time ago, but I was, in many respects treating him like he was. I was nagging him about the same things and instead of teaching him the basic life skills, I was giving him a long to-do list to follow. I was putting his socks for him instead of teaching him how. I lectured him about responsibility, but I wasn't giving him a chance to be responsible. I didn't give him a chance to fail. Everything was done for him and my time was mostly dedicated to him. 

After feeling guilty about my parenting failures, I saw my opportunity to redeem myself. My first challenge came in the form of a boy scout camp. I did the unthinkable.

Yes, I actually let him pack his own bags. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but do you realize how hard that is for me? I didn't ask him if he packed all he needed and I didn't double check his bag. If he forgot something, he would have to go without it and  hope he would learn something from it. 

I came home with a sense of accomplishment (especially for keeping my mouth shut) but I was still curious about what he left behind, a sleeping bag? a poncho? or tarp? It was hard to tell because I had many duplicate things and he wanted to take a different bag. After looking around, I realized he actually remembered to take his bathing suit to this camp out at the private beach. 

When I picked him up, he was very happy and proud of himself of what he remembered to pack. He went on about his camp and what he managed to get done. I was glad for him, but I had to hide the guilt of keeping him back from growing up. But I am not going to dwell on it.

I'm not perfect, but who is. Will is growing up and so am I.