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SAHM of 3 wonderful kids, one brilliant one Asperger Syndrome. This is not a living shrine to his disorder, but rather a place to share & discuss the different challenges that came with it and other things about parenting & life in general.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

My aspie branches out

I was walking completely unaware of my surroundings until the shades of this trees hit my feet. 

What a beauty. 

It was sitting alone, in between buildings in a parking lot on a hill with its roots exposed. I don't know why but it reminded me of W.

He went to his Junior Prom and had a great time with date and his friends. Some may say, prom is just a prom, but for me it was more than just a prom. It was something I didn't expect to happen and it was a success.

He signed up to go to Spain next year with his Spanish class. 

He came home with all the details of the 11 trip to Spain (Madrid & Barcelona) and stop to Italy (possibly Milan or Sorento or Isle of Capri). He also came with how he will earn part of the money to go to the trip. 

My permission for this trip has turned on a switch. I didn't have to remind him to do anything today. He told me everything I wanted to ask, without my asking a single question. It feels like he has grown & matured years in the last few days. 

He also informed me he is getting a chance meet the Dalai Lama next month with his AP History class. That's what I call branching out.

I don't know how long this will last, but I decided to enjoy seeing the changes. 

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Trouble with Facebook...Bullies again

Facebook. What can I say.
I was happy that W had friends period.
But it has come to bite me in the behind. Facebook...

W posted a drawing of a picture. Not his own, but he put it up. Maybe he took credit or maybe he didn't.
He took it down right away, but some of his "friends" were hassling about apologizing.
They cornered him in school hallway and even at lunch. Believe me when I say, it is more serious than the things I describe. I just don't want to go into detail.

This went on for a while until W came to me and explained to me the situation. He was really afraid. They could have made things worse for him and etc. They were pressuring him to put a big apology on Facebook.

Needless to say, my reaction is what you may imagine to be. This happened right before spring break so I had to sit on it for a week.

He blocked them from Facebook, received good counsel from his friends. But through social media, I was seeing the snowballing effect first hand. People started to take sides with their friends and it could have become a fight.

W wanted to take care of the situation on his own by going to the counselor without me getting involved.
He couldn't get their time because they were occupied. W started to panic as he texted me and he didn't want to go to class. I told him to walk into any counselor and have them call me.

I remained calm as I have had bullying issues before. I summarized as best I could. I left with few remarks.

"Take care of this or I will. You don't want me involved." She agreed. She didn't want to see me.
"Tell them to make it serious."
"Tell their friends to back off, or they will see me."

It was a short conversation. The counselor knows me because of the previous bullying incident that I went to Court for. She knew things would get very messy if I got involved. No one would come out clean.

3 hours and 30 minutes is what it took. The people were to stay away, not even discuss with friends and not even mention his name. They had their excuses, but there is no excuse in ganging up on one person.
I will see how it goes. Day 2 and things are quiet.

W insisted I stay away so he could take care of it. So I did stay back. I realized he needed to take care of things on his own. I just reminded him that I was there for him.

It occurred to me that the situation could have been handled better except for the fact he is an aspie. Social situations and reaction to those situations are difficult to him. But surprisingly, he handles the things that seem too intense to handle for the rest of us, very easily.

I was tempted to have him close his account, but realized I could not protect him from everything. He needed to learn on his own. I always preached about what he should not do online and even what he put up was completely appropriate, it still brought in a lot of headache.

I wish he would close his account. But I am not going to force him. So I await for the next drama.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Never thought I'd see the day...

I have been very vague about changes. The resets in my life as well as for my family. I left the details because I didn't feel it served any purpose.

So what is the purpose of this post? Well, the changes and resets I speak of didn't only happened to me but to W.

While I was in this realm of twilight zone, W grew up. While my eyes fixed on other things in life, my son matured.

I haven't micromanaged his everything for the last two months and the world hasn't ended as I thought it would.

He proved me wrong by staying strong when I was not.
He proved me wrong by doing well in school without me checking his work.
He proved me wrong by being proactive in all his responsibilities.

This doesn't mean I won't be there for him every step of the way. I will be.

I just never thought I'd see the day when I could picture him growing onto his own without things falling apart. So I am stepping back a little to give him some space.

Well, I'm stepping back v......e.....r.....y little. I said I was confident, I didn't say I was going stop being a mom.