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SAHM of 3 wonderful kids, one brilliant one Asperger Syndrome. This is not a living shrine to his disorder, but rather a place to share & discuss the different challenges that came with it and other things about parenting & life in general.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Trouble with Facebook...Bullies again

Facebook. What can I say.
I was happy that W had friends period.
But it has come to bite me in the behind. Facebook...

W posted a drawing of a picture. Not his own, but he put it up. Maybe he took credit or maybe he didn't.
He took it down right away, but some of his "friends" were hassling about apologizing.
They cornered him in school hallway and even at lunch. Believe me when I say, it is more serious than the things I describe. I just don't want to go into detail.

This went on for a while until W came to me and explained to me the situation. He was really afraid. They could have made things worse for him and etc. They were pressuring him to put a big apology on Facebook.

Needless to say, my reaction is what you may imagine to be. This happened right before spring break so I had to sit on it for a week.

He blocked them from Facebook, received good counsel from his friends. But through social media, I was seeing the snowballing effect first hand. People started to take sides with their friends and it could have become a fight.

W wanted to take care of the situation on his own by going to the counselor without me getting involved.
He couldn't get their time because they were occupied. W started to panic as he texted me and he didn't want to go to class. I told him to walk into any counselor and have them call me.

I remained calm as I have had bullying issues before. I summarized as best I could. I left with few remarks.

"Take care of this or I will. You don't want me involved." She agreed. She didn't want to see me.
"Tell them to make it serious."
"Tell their friends to back off, or they will see me."

It was a short conversation. The counselor knows me because of the previous bullying incident that I went to Court for. She knew things would get very messy if I got involved. No one would come out clean.

3 hours and 30 minutes is what it took. The people were to stay away, not even discuss with friends and not even mention his name. They had their excuses, but there is no excuse in ganging up on one person.
I will see how it goes. Day 2 and things are quiet.

W insisted I stay away so he could take care of it. So I did stay back. I realized he needed to take care of things on his own. I just reminded him that I was there for him.

It occurred to me that the situation could have been handled better except for the fact he is an aspie. Social situations and reaction to those situations are difficult to him. But surprisingly, he handles the things that seem too intense to handle for the rest of us, very easily.

I was tempted to have him close his account, but realized I could not protect him from everything. He needed to learn on his own. I always preached about what he should not do online and even what he put up was completely appropriate, it still brought in a lot of headache.

I wish he would close his account. But I am not going to force him. So I await for the next drama.

3 comments:

  1. The most important thing I took away from this post is what a strong, loving, supportive mom you are--and also a mom who understands she can't always protect her son because he needs to learn and grow.

    It's difficult to be a parent in today's world of easy online communication, especially when your child is being bullied--and even more so when that child has special needs.

    I wish you and your son a positive outcome and relief from future bullying.

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  2. What a fabulous mother you are. Some children do not have the support at home, or anybody to turn to when things start to snowball and we unfortunately get to read about it later in the newspaper. Well done to you. Bullies like to pick on people they believe are weak, but standing up to them sends out the right signal. Your son is lucky to have you as his mum.

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