There are tendencies to use the disorder to excuse unruly behavior and tantrums. I am guilty myself for letting some things go. But how much of those behaviors were due to his disorder and how much of being just plain spoiled?
Consistency, Discipline, Structure is what all kids require for their growth. Kids with this disorder, needs more stringent structure and consistency than other children. So with the help of my family, I have been able to remain quite strict on what is allowed and what is not allowed.
I have not received anything negative regarding his behavior at school and anywhere else. His therapist also told me that he could see how strict I was because he was thriving in school as others with his disorder tended to under-perform.
Disorder or not, child is a child and they need you to be a parent. Don't sympathize, just empathize.