Will was diagnosed in the 3rd grade after minor teasing incidents. When he began his sessions, I don't recall ever telling him what he had.
We explained to him in a simple manner as he began his sessions with the therapist. One reason was because I didn't know anything about the disorder to begin with so it was first for both of us. I didn't know how to tell him. I just said he needed to see the doctor to learn some things that was difficult for him. I asked the doctor when to tell him, but she just said it was really up to me as a parent.
I made it simple and I didn't go into details. I knew he was very intelligent, but it was something that I was only beginning to comprehend. He knew that these sessions with the therapist helped him understand things about social interactions and other things that were difficult for him. That is where we left it. He would have more questions for me when he got older, and I waited.
My concern was that he would use the disorder as an excuse for things. I am thankful he hasn't done that.
Since the bullying incident, we had to sit and have a frank discussion regarding his disorder. I did it very casually and got a few books that we are reading through together. I didn't make a big deal out of talking to him about it, I spoke to him like I would speak about anything else. It helped to remain calm, positive and honest. Most of all, talking with him without condescension. And he is very happy I did that.
Now we are on the same page and learning together.