It has been a miserable weeks for me. I have two other kids. My main focus was always on Will because of his disorder. My youngest, Aidan, four years old, had no speech delays or any other difficulties like his brother so naturally he has been on a back burner and I was in no hurry to put him in a preschool. Until I started looking for a preschool.
Technically, he can qualify to go to Kindergarten as long as he turns five before December. But I don't think he is ready. So I looked around for a preschool that I could send him a few times a week and what I found was just horrifying. I was aghast at the cost of preschool. There was no such thing as half day for preschoolers anymore, at least, not around here. It costs anywhere from $550 to $800, 8am to 2:30/5:30. Most if not all were geared toward the working parents.
I thought to myself, the boy can't even wipe his own behind and I'm going to spend what on him? The more I looked, the more discouraging it was.
As I took Aidan around to different preschools, I felt really guilty. The schools have a keen way of making you feel like an inept parent. Somehow you need to put him in a institution to get him ready for school. Or he will fall behind or you are ruining his chances of going to a decent college. As most parents do, I did what you usually do. Talk to whomever is willing to listen to you. I asked around, talked to my sister, tweeted about it, researched it, and even resorted to asking my four year old.
I put him on my lap, "Are you worth $600 a month for preschool?" He replied. No.
My sister and I laughed about it. It was funny because it sounded very desperate.
I put in the application for a half day, got all the paperwork done for the preschool. Yesterday, I finally made my decision. It wasn't going to make me feel better either way. There is no right or wrong. So decided to keep him home. I'm sure my college education will pay off here. I'll give him all the attention and loving at home. Hopefully, the lazy side won't take over.
Signed up for a parent/child art class for the summer and I will just have to live with the guilt.
I won't complain anymore. He is healthy and happy to be with his mom. And so am I (most of the time.)