Remembering Asperger Diagnosis

"It was not the end of the world. It was not a death sentence. It was a much deserved beginning."

I can not remember the exact date when I got his diagnosis.
I sat in the cold office, in an unusually clear day, in Hawaii.
Will sat in the waiting room engrossed in his book as usual.

Doctor entered with a thin manila folder and sat across me.
I held my breath fidgeting in my seat.
"You're son has aspergers." Doc said.

My heart sank as I sat there holding back the tears.
I was not surprised at her diagnosis. I expected as much.

There was a name.

I could finally start doing things for him that would make a difference.
I could stop blaming myself because it was not my fault.
I did not know much about the disorder. But it was a start.

I only wished I had the diagnosis earlier because I fear he suffered much due to my ignorance.
With that aside, it turned out to be a very clear day for both of us.
We have been learning, coping, and growing ever since.

How I dodged this bullet: Sleep issues with my aspie

“Mom, I used to dream of evil tofu and dancing vegetables that I had to fight off with a tea spoon.” Will said to me as I worked to complete this post.

Will turned six-teen this past June. He has come a long way since the days of speech therapy and his diagnosis.

He was a happy baby with no particular problem with sleep. When he was one, I would sing for an hour, and then it gradually moved on to reading for an hour, and someone would have to stay in the room with him until he fell asleep.

He slept on his own when he was about four. Then he began coming into my room in the middle of the night until I chased him back to his room. To be honest, I was hard on him. There may have been something I could have done, if I had known what was going on. He could not tell me what was bothering him. I treated him as if he was a spoiled child.

After days of sending him back to his room, he never came out again. I am very lucky because he made it through without too much difficulty on my part. Then he received his diagnosis when he was 8.
Since then, I tried to stay consistent as possible rituals.

1. His bag is ready for the next day.
2. No cell phone, Itouch, computer, TV in his room. The only electronic is the alarm clock.
3. Lights out at 9:15 unless he has unfinished homework or it is a weekend.

He has been remarkably cooperative, but I have tried to be consistent and it has worked for me. I hope he doesn’t start rebelling.

For other bloggers regarding this topic, must check out the July 15th Best of the Best bloggers:  http://tinyurl.com/4yd6yea

Lessons on Social Skills...with Facebook & other social media

The other day, I was dropping off my aspie to summer school when he received a call. Since I was driving, I couldn't hear anything. He quickly hung up. But the confusion on his face was evident. There was no time for a discussion so I dropped him off.

I casually asked him when he came home. It was about Facebook. I immediately remembered his counselor saying that facebook made her job harder than it already was. He told me that Girl A was posting something on Facebook about Girl B. Girl B called my aspie to talk about it. Anyway, it was another drama which could be something or nothing. But it did set off some alarms in my mind.

This made me question why I was letting him do facebook in the first place. It's bad enough that he has difficulties with social skills, now he had to take on a whole new task of interacting online. Even I have difficulties reading between the lines during online discussions or tweeting.

We had a good talk about what was appropriate and not. And I just made it a little simpler to be a gentlemen online as he is in person. I also said he is a good friend for listening, but to avoid the landmind of repeating things that were told to him. I had other advice too.

At the end, the use of social media is one topic that will always remain in our discussions and he still has his facebook account that I monitor time to time.  I just hope I'm doing the right thing.